As a relationship & dating expert and matchmaker who talks to numerous people looking for love after divorce or with relationship issues, what happened to my relationship was great at the start.
When women meet someone they really fancy their chemistry goes off the charts, their body starts oozing Oxytocin, this chemical plays a special role in sexual reproduction, it’s released into the bloodstream as a hormone. At this time a woman feels really connected, their sex life will be amazing and they will be thinking about their partner all day long, just think pink fluffy clouds and all is great in life.
The first 9 months are normally the happiest time for any couple but once you start to hit the 9 month period things can start to slide, a person gets a true sense of who their partner really is and whether or not you are truly compatible.
After 9 months you can start to get on each other’s nerves and little things can often drive you mad!
By month 9 the oxytocin has dropped and the natural high starts to wind down. This is why I suggest you never make any decision on a relationship until after a year, no matter what. No moving in together, buying a house together, having a baby or marriage.
FOR MEN It comes down to these 7 stages at the early part of the relationship:
- The first thing is men focus on physical appearance and attraction. Although this seems shallow, while physical appearance may not be the most important factor in falling in love, it is still the first stage that influences men to pay attention to a potential mate. (Ladies I can’t stress enough how important the first date is and it’s very important to dress to impress. I cover this in my book The secrets to what men really want).
- Next, a man is instinctively looking for someone who he appreciates, he enters this next stage interested in wooing his potential girlfriend, he will find alternative ways to please a woman based on their similar interests and hobbies. In short, he’s looking for Miss Right.
- If he hasn’t entered the courting stage, then he doesn’t have to worry about heartbreak, because rejection that occurs early on rather than later gives him the advantage of walking away from the situation before his vulnerability builds up.
- While the guy isn’t in love during the early stage, he definitely steps up his game at this time, trying to win the heart of the girl. Even for a man at this stage, he’s chemistry is equally off the charts.
- He’ll begin to wonder if he can see himself with his potential girlfriend. In addition, he’ll also ask himself if she’s interested in establishing anything more than what they have now.
- During this stage, the man has successfully met his goal of having the girl fall in love with him. Once he has the girl in this state, he will then seriously consider whether or not he wants to have a relationship with her. This is when he might disappear for a while to figure things out as he weighs out all the pros and cons, brutal but true. (This is why it’s hard for a woman as we fall in love quite quickly, try to take things slow).
- If he is with the girl after a few months or more then this means he’s ready to fall in love with the girl. It shows that he’s willing to be faithful and sees a future with her. Here is the thing about men though, if a man has had lots of relationships be careful if he starts giving you his undying love too soon, some men can’t help but fall in and out of love quickly.
The two most important things in a relationship are the two C’s chemistry and compatibility, as mentioned we all have chemistry in the first 9 months. It’s after 9 months that you need to find out if you also have compatibility, are you best friends, do you respect one another, is there still chemistry? The 2 C’s are vital if you want a long term partner and not a short term fling.
The challenge is being honest with yourself, taking the time to reflect and sort through your true feelings, not compromising or watering down your life.
