Julie Wright, Therapeutic Services Counsellor
Mother’s Day on Sunday 27 March is a lovely celebration but can also cause a tidal wave of grief for those who have lost their own mother figure, or for mothers who have lost a baby or child.
Whether the death was recent or many years ago, the lead up to Mother’s Day, and the day itself, can be tough when many others will be celebrating.
Leading Derbyshire hospice, Treetops Hospice, has shared advice and guidance on how people and their loved ones can cope with the loss of a mum, or a child, at this time of year.
Therapeutic Services Counsellor, Julie Wright, explained that sometimes the lead up to Mother’s Day can be worse than the day itself:
“Anniversaries and celebratory days can be hard for someone who’s experiencing grief. With days like Mother’s Day for example, there’s cards around the shops, presents, flowers, and people are talking about making plans to celebrate.
“It is difficult to avoid those things. It might be about thinking how to do shopping in a different way if you really can’t face them. But even just talking through those fears with somebody can be helpful and can help alleviate those fears.”
Other advice that the hospice is offering includes:
Acknowledge the day and its impact on you
- It is likely to be a more challenging day than normal. You may want to be on your own, being quiet and reflective. Or you may want company and to share memories. It’s really important to simply do what feels right for you.
Be kind to yourself
- Give yourself permission to put yourself first and be compassionate with your own feelings. It is okay to not be okay. Don’t expect too much of yourself and allow yourself to feel those emotions.
Remember the person who has died
- Consider what you might like to do to either think about your mum, or celebrate your mum, on Mother’s Day. This might be connected to places that you’ve been or things you’ve done together. Find ways to connect with their memory in ways that feel special to you.
- There are many ways to remember your loved one. You could light a candle, plant something in the garden, write your feelings down in a Mother’s Day card, or do something you used to enjoy doing together.
- Online tributes can also be a helpful way of reflecting on how much your loved one meant to you. Perhaps post a Facebook message, a photo on Instagram, or share a video with family and friends.
“At Treetops, we understand that everyone grieves differently,” Julie continues.
“Everyone feels emotion and grief when they’ve had a bereavement and that’s normal. Treetops is here so if you are one of those people that feels like you need a bit of extra help, then please contact us.”
Treetops Hospice counsellors can support children, young people and adults impacted by bereavement. Last year, the hospice provided over 3,100 bereavement counselling sessions, including over 1,000 sessions for children and young people,
For further information, contact Treetops on 0115 949 6944 or go to www.treetops.org.uk.
